Sunday, February 26, 2006
if only you knew. the love i felt for you and only you. i kept my feelings for you all locked up deeply inside. held on to every moment i had. waiting for you to turn back. waiting silently in the dark for you to come back boy.HEY people! =) long time sinced i last blog huh. things are not going well. NO NO NO! wall are turning on me. it feels like fuck. flunking tests have became a habit..FUCK this ain't good at all! common tests are approaching. im sitting here as if still in holiday. REWIND. i want to go back to holidays. the fun. the love. EVERYTHING was great! now im stuck with history.. sads. the history of us. the history of you and me is all i think about. and daddy came back to singapore yesterday morning. SIAN. life's gonna be a bore. everything is moving so so so fast. its gone in a blink. like you and me. ended it the day before our 3 weeks. hmm. thinking..did i really do the right thing? just wish i had an answer. had someone to tell me what i should do next. so many questions yet no answers. just wish he would be like last time. going out with us everyday. having fun. now. his time belongs to someone else? i really dont know what he* wants..its just complicated love huh. just wish someone would stab me. and everything will just end HERE. i dont want to lose you again. but every second you're with her. i know i've lost to her. to you, this is a girl being SENSITVIE. but you just dont get the bloody point?! people. slap me PLEASE! slap me. why am i still waiting?! i need my wake up calls..now! please.. i've been through it once. i dont want history to repeat. the mood swings. horrible! the endless tears. the frowns. those laughter all GONE. disappear as he goes. never knew loving someone is so difficult. sorry but. things are just not alright. i've lost it. and i dont want to go any deeper. i really need someone's guide. if you* ever read this. just understand this. is not i dont trust you. i trust you with my life! but its the things you do that gets to me. if i dont love you. i dont think i will feel all this. you may never understand. no one will ever understand. the fear of love; is losing you. maybe everything was meant to be?
well.. pretty much my whole week was a mess. been rushing for classes after sch. pretty tight schedule. hm. well nothing major happen. cindy's been ms late in class? hahas. late late late. stupid girl. call also dont want pick up. the week was neither great nor bad...
things are just different without you next door and always dropping by inbetween periods.
he's* just stuck there in my mind.
stop drving me nuts. i still want to live. i cant seem to get a hold of myself anymore.
im lost in you. but i know you dont give a
shit bout all this. is it really a waste of time?
but im hanging on. cause i know. after so long. you're still the only one i truly love.
i wish i had you again.-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
8:56 AM
Sunday, February 19, 2006
WHOO. long time since i blog. today is 19..it has been 8 days since the last i bloged. let me start frm valentines day then. cause i practically cant remember anything before that.
14th feb!
VALENTINES DAY. love birds here and there. love is in the air. love is just EVERYWHERE. sweet day for couples. but not too bad for SINGLES! x) hahahas. well bloody teachers gave TEST on valentines day. and we also had a stupid MOE maths test which i bloody hell dont know how to do. and it wasted 2 hrs of the DAY! then after that went to whitesands. he went there to meet me. and everyone just sat there? gave him his present x) HAHAS. then erm we left ws going seperate ways with my friends. went to simei and [blank] and then he sent me home.
15th feb
today half day sch. cause of good results. and erm... cut hair. x) then .... cindy came to my hse. after that went to [blank] then coming back that time. something happen..then he* came to find me =) and [blank] then he* send me home. hahahas.
16th feb
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO my da zhu =)
hahas. today didnt really get to spend the day with him.. SORRY!!!! but i passed him the present =) hahas. cant remember what happen exactly..
17th feb
A NIGHT TO REMEMBER. hanged at downtown then went to the beach with ethel, andrea and cindy. then met ian there. sat on rocks. the SAD atmosphere filled the air. then ian, ethel and andrea left. left me and cindy. we 'watched' the sun set! though many tress blocked most of the view..HAHAS. waited LONG for the stars to come out. but we had a great chat. =) founded out my never-really-let-go feelings for him. hahas. was really sad. listenened to sad songs. SADNESS!!! but then PRETTY STARS shone so brightly right on top of us. beautiful stars. brighten us up. just beautiful. bright stars. x) no moon though. but its ok. the stars filled my heart. then when it was like 8+++ a non chinese, stripe shirt guy on a bike stopped next to us and ask if we know how to speak english. WTF. i ans him in english. claiming that i dont know what he talking about. then he asked what sch we frm. wtf. we were sch uniform lah! cant read. too bad sia. CREEPY GUY!!! DISGUSTING! then after a LONG WHILE [not really long. but it really did when that guy was there] then we quickly took our bags and bks. and went off to buy cindy's mummy's dinner at whitesands. then took mrt to simei. he sent me home. =) hahahas.
18th feb
went to bugis with mummy. ate at intercontinental and saw alicia there! hahahas. TALL GIRL! hahahas. then erm met cindy they all. saw many haisians asking for donations there. hahas. then erm walked to suntec and watched movie. TOOK PICS of this INCREDIBALY cute and adorable ang moh baby! then erm. the movie was not bad. hard to understand. and there was a bloody fucker who keep turning back and saying shut up. he tried to say shut the fuck up...but the word FUCK just cant come out of his mouth. HAH. loser. SO OLD still want say. then after that..walked to mrt station i went to simei while cindy they all went to bedok. then he sent me home again. =) hahas. then chatted with him* on the phone till 2.30++am then i go sleep. hahas.
19th feb.
TODAY. was BORING BORING BORING. did a lil shopping with mummy. new bag. new tops. new bk =) hahahas. had sushi after that. and now im home. tried to do art. but didnt turn out well at all. now waiting for him* to reply me. stupid boy. dont want reply. then still say want find me. xP so tired and bored. SLEEPY. dont feel like going sch tmr. GEOG TEST!!!! =( k i think i can only tahan till here.
BYE PEOPLE!
with loves.
-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
6:52 PM
Saturday, February 11, 2006
now its 10.37pm and tmr i have to wake up at freaking 5.20 am just to meet my sweethearts. but nvm its ok x) hahahas. then have to be in sch by 6.45am. just now went to intercontinental. had sweet memories with cindy there. then mummy got herself a mango cheese cake. had buffet dinner. FULL. totally bloated now. talked to cindy for abit after that. heard that they say many prostitutes/ prostitudes however you spell it, at chinatown. HAHAHAS. so funny lols. i saw this lady. middle age i think. at the hotel the toilet there. then the lady look abit transexual.but i dont think she is. then she wears this short mini skirt showing off her flabby tummy and she wore a top the reveals her stomache. imagine how she looks. she have wrinkles round her face. HAHAS. then erm..nothing much actually happen... so yup i'll wrap it up here! nights ppl.
manyLOVES.
-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
10:37 PM
11/feb/06
10.42am
TODAY IS mummy's BDAY! x) HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY! thanks for all your love and patients to my oh-so-terrible mood swings. my mood swings have been really terrible yesterday. what the
fuck is happening. i feel so tied up. but anyway. TOMMOROW is dance works! GO HAI SING X) and valentines day is approaching FAST! so is his birthday! =D gonna have a great valentines day this year. =) well recently..i failed maths and grammer. I FAILED GRAMMER. sad lah. but nvm. just mean that i will improve on the next. thats what zy says. HAHAHAS. monday there's hair check.. and ST wants to catch girls with fringe below eyebrow.. COME ON. who cares sia! its ok one lol. last year also nothing. then this year so many things also mind. things are getting kinda rough for us. but lets hope this wave will go soon. i cant take another minute of it! then there was the 'fashion' show yesterday. me and steven helped mrs lim getting the 'animals' ready. so tiring lol. 1e5's sheep was like the CUTEST THING lah. then i think weida was also the best dressed dog lah. *claps* for everyone!
life's been ok. but many things happened. unexpected things which brought me real down. i know none of it is worth it but hey. its a face i'll just have to go through. i can never pretend nothing had happened.
but now i have him which makes everything different. its just a whole new story. a new beggining. i dont want this to end. unstable emotions. endless nights of crying. i dont want this no more. its you i
crave for. =)
take cares people.
manyloves.
-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
10:40 AM
Sunday, February 05, 2006
whoo. just came back from malaysia. never knew driving there could take SO MANY BLOODY HOURS. got lost many many times.. hahahas. then hais. so luan sia the holiday. but nvm. i think now is all find at home x) HOME SWEET HOME! then love my cousin. she's such a sweetie. now everyone is just staring at the tv. so so so full. HAHAS. they watching i not stupid and i want watch the 2nd one again!!!! tmr going out again.. hais. but nvm. they leaving monday morning! k lah. not exactly happy but at least. all will be more convienient. then just now went to a place in KL then they show all the pics of those famous ppl who been there. AND JAY CHOU was THERE! but then his face not so nice there. then THANKS FOR THE GREAT PRESENTS AND WONDERFUL BIRTHDAY. specially chih kai for the cd. and cindy, elisha, chelle, ian, ethel and the other ppl x) thnks babes! also must thank another bunch but yah. HAD FUN. x) then erm. oh yah. elisha wants me to say this. ELISHA IS THE BEST. x) there. i said it. HAHAS. went to catholic with cindy yesterday and cohen was reading. YUCKS!!! really sian. dont know how they tahan every week. but the bible quite nice to read ba? then pei her till he came. hahahas. then went home. then off to malaysia. sian..MISS YOU PEOPLE!
take cares my babes.
loveyouMANY
-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
12:38 AM
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
x) TMR IS MY BDAY! WHOO. 1 and 1/2 more hrs time. IM 14! then got 1 bitch keep saying she BIG. BIG SO WHAT! then keep saying we small kids. big then big lah. bigger then me. SO. BIGGER BITCH then me lah. true leh. anyway im blogging for my DEAREST to read X) today is vera's bday. HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY DARLING VERA! we LOVE YOU! hope she like the present! sang happy birthday to her. SO FUN. HAHAHAS. my one day older DARLING x) hahahas. dearie. ALL is over. dont want it to happen sia. its saddening! then saw HIM today and something happened. unless you were there. you'll NEVER know x) then stupid. kena caught by gng at the void deck .. wah lao. he some more must drive and park there and come out. tried to walk off. but too late. STUPID. ask so much! good thing they cover for us. x) THNKS x) then hmm. now 1 hr 20 mins more! WHOO! my aunt they all reaching soon i think. daddy went to airport there to pick them up. hais. then this friday going malaysia. SAD! though 2 days only. i'll still miss my babes! they're the most precious to me. i think i stop here. MY BIRTHDAY COMING SOON. but sadly vera's bday ending le.
VERA!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
manymanymanyLOVE.
-hillary
p.s: ELISHA's BLOG IS THE BEST! x)
*saw that babe! happy mah x) HAHAHAHAS.
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Masquerade Love.
10:21 PM
x) TMR IS MY BDAY! WHOO. 1 and 1/2 more hrs time. IM 14! then got 1 bitch keep saying she BIG. BIG SO WHAT! then keep saying we small kids. big then big lah. bigger then me. SO. BIGGER BITCH then me lah. true leh. anyway im blogging for my DEAREST to read X) today is vera's bday. HAPPY 14th BIRTHDAY DARLING VERA! we LOVE YOU! hope she like the present! sang happy birthday to her. SO FUN. HAHAHAS. my one day older DARLING x) hahahas. dearie. ALL is over. dont want it to happen sia. its saddening! then saw HIM today and something happened. unless you were there. you'll NEVER know x) then stupid. kena caught by gng at the void deck .. wah lao. he some more must drive and park there and come out. tried to walk off. but too late. STUPID. ask so much! good thing they cover for us. x) THNKS x) then hmm. now 1 hr 20 mins more! WHOO! my aunt they all reaching soon i think. daddy went to airport there to pick them up. hais. then this friday going malaysia. SAD! though 2 days only. i'll still miss my babes! they're the most precious to me. i think i stop here. MY BIRTHDAY COMING SOON. but sadly vera's bday ending le.
VERA!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
manymanymanyLOVE.
-hillary
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Masquerade Love.
10:21 PM
