The last something that meant anything.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

FRIENDSTER IS BEING A BITCH. -.- again. nehneh. some weird human decided to make virus and spam humans with weird pictures. there's one with a baby and a dog head. ITS BLOODY IRRITATING. and it's taking eons to be deleted. okay i doubt many people realise this. humans are not coming online. boo. and tomorrow is EOY. double boo. after i cleared my friendster i'm gonna go study. yes. study. off my computer and study. the best way to help myself not get distracted. studied 3 chapters of ss last night.

had ss lessons in the morning. was late. for like 5 minutes? hahas. wanted to study at ws after lessons but no some idiot have to complain that mac is not a library -.- so the bloody woman told us that she don't want to see books. that made kim an angry person. then kim and farizah went off. me and elisha roamed around ws for a while more. saw crow there. LONG TIME NO SEE LAH. hahas. saw a guy wearing lime green skinnys. nice yes but the colour damn prominent. okay so went home. and i felt lazy so didn't study at all =x had dinner at waruku(?) east coast. saw many small kids damn cute lah. ahhhh nehneh all the memories. oh well. then went home. and now i'm bored. friendster is being super bitchy. someone should seriously screw friendster. rahhhh. hmm now there's this photo with a hamster inbetween a woman's boobs -.- screw the virus too. it's damn sickening lah.

FINALLY! i've finish deleting all the weird things on friendster. okay i'm off to mugmugmug. one last week and HOLIDAYYYYYYYYYYYY x) i miss going out!

you were too good to be true.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
4:43 PM

Friday, September 28, 2007

HAPPY 15TH BIRTHDAY SAM!

this post is dedicated to the white tofu faced girl hahas. finally you're 15. though this day may not bring you the best memories but always remember that we love and care for you more than any other. yes as mentioned in her comment. IM STAYING UP TILL 12 so i can send this girl a birthday comment etc etc. ahhh and on top of that is cause i'm really really bored lah. my dear sister, gone through ups and downs together. being retards together and many many more. i'll be there for you. cause IM ALWAYS HERE! X) okay very lame. you and your very retarded acts and the many times you went OMG HILLARY... we'll make it through just fine. you're love lah. (:

LOVE 02!

with love.
-hillary
P.S: BLOGGERS TIME IS SCREWED. it's exactly 12am!

Masquerade Love.
11:40 PM

AHHH FRIDAY. FINALLY FRIDAY. a weekend to rest. oh well so much for resting. have to get my butt to sch at 8am tmr morning for ss. Let's hope that it's useful and hint-ish. X) 2 more days to EOY. rahhhhhhh. had more water babies war in class. its damn cute lah. and the blue and transparent babies are disappearing. BOO. anyway lessons were very self study-ish and we had our last session of sex ed. joy to the world. all the sessions were boring. they showed us a video on abortion and some photos. it's like awful lah. those babies are so small eh. so poor thing can. many humans cried or almost cried. seriously, if you ever watch it, you'll be left speechless. it's really damn sad to see all this happening. i can still remember the picture clearly lah. gives me gooseberries. so today was pretty useless. i reached home super early and i didn't study. just don't have the mood and i can't concentrate. it's so irritating luh.

i swear that you don't have to go
I thought we could wait for the fireworks
I thought we could wait for the snow

I thought I could live in your arms
And spend every moment I had with you
Stay up all night with the stars
Confess all the faith that I had in you

This anniversary may never be the same
Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same

And I will always remember you as you are right now to me
And I will always remember now

I can't forget you
I know you want me to want you
I want to

ahhh yes. i'm being an ass. slap me. XP ahhhh ss tmr.

let the flames begin.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
8:33 PM

Aquarius
If you spend too much time thinking about your past mistakes, how can you focus on moving forward? Today, you need to put the boxing gloves away -- because it's time for you to stop beating yourself up! No one remembers the things you did or didn't do, so why on earth should you? It's one thing to learn lessons from errors you've made, but it is quite another to continually punish yourself. This is a fresh day, full of possibility and promise. Don't waste it feeling regret.

this is like so true. hahas. i'm blogging alot today -.- oh well. i'm heading to bed. good nights people (:

give me you,
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
12:03 AM

Thursday, September 27, 2007

PHOTOS X)) finally. hahas. see the heart. =D i love the blue ones lah. the compassion is the cme reflection done by our group. I LOVE WATER BABIES. the bottom one is the very deformed one but its super cute. super cute babies. X) we're damn bored in class even though its EOY.

I LOVE WATER BABIES.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:19 PM

EXAMS ARE GETTING NEARER AND NEARER. and i've not been studying alot alot as i was suppose to. maths tuition was productive (: ahhhh i need to do well for exams. but the thought of it is not good enough motivation. rahhh. i'm super sleepy. rained this morning. got half drench. LOL. been raining almost the whole day lah actually. the weather is just damn unpredictable. its super cooling now. the thought of sleeping is so tempting lah. ahhh elishaaaaaaa. many humans claim to be on hiatus but appearantly they are still blogging lah. LOL. randomness. ahhh i miss going out without worrying bout studies. i miss going out actually. SENTOSAAAAAAAAAAA. after the million times of saying that i still haven't go there lah. okay i think im going to go have my dinner and maybe mug abit more.

It's over
Look out below
And I'm wasted
I still taste it
Yeah it's so hard to let go
So breathe in now
And breathe it out
The forecast
A car crash
It's looking like another...

Breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart, I hope to die

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all

No rewinds
No second times
And I won't break
I won't waste, everything you left behind
So don't follow
Just let it go
The weather's, been better
Don't let it be another...

Breakdown, rebound
This could be my last goodbye
You cross your heart, I hope to die

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all

All the nights you spent sitting nowhere out there on your own
All the nights I waited by the phone when you were going in alone
And all your different faces and all your different ways are making everything a mess
And all I'm saying is that all your different places and all the complications laid to rest

And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved
And I can't deny your eyes
You know I try to read between the lines
I saw a warning sign
And then you threw me up against the wall
Who said that it's better to have loved and lost?
I wish that I had never loved at all
(Never loved at all)

LOVE.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
5:42 PM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

SCHOOL IS BORING. time is ticking and passing real fast. lol. today is wed. a few more days and its EOY. one year flew by. many things came by and went away. so fast luh. zomg. i wish i could rewind time. but then maybe not too. hahas. i'm being nonsense. yes.

lessons were boring lah. all the teachers came. we got our water babies today X) watched them grow. touched, poked, bounce them. yes. very retarded. they are damn cute. super nice to play with lah. we took photos of them but kimmey's sharing folder doesn't like me -.- so it's not synchronzing. irritating right! i've been waiting for the photos. BOO. and now kim is offline -.- okay i just had my tuition and dinner. and i'm gonna start mugging for ss. ahhh this is so stupid lah. i hate exams.

off to mugging world. yeah. like anyone would really believe.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
5:26 PM

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

everyone seem super stress nowadays. stupid exams. -.- okay moving on. things seems to just hit me all of a sudden out of the blue lah. its so annoying! of all times, one week before my exams. rahhh. oh well.

to a certain someone dear to me.
girl, don't get angry so easily okay. even if angry also don't do stupid things lah. what you say to me is not an act of giving in. though you may not be able to see this now. i wish you'll think twice before making any decisions alright? true love takes time to find. true love takes time to forget. don't rush. don't get mad if he don't appear in that i-will-give-in-to-you-no-matter mood. sometimes guys have their mood swings too. don't want to see you all down again. so remember think twice okay? if you find yourself happier this way, we'll all be glad for you too but if this is not what you want then end it before its too late okay? take cares darling. i'm always here for you (:

i'm actually bored now lah. after getting the picture up and all i feel bored again -.- ahhh stupid boredom. i.feel.like.an.idiot.now. and i don't know why. i know what i'm doing is dumb and what she did may actually help but somehow i'm dying to know what is going to happen. ahhhh i need to concentrate on EOY. RAHHH.

this is the, heartbreak hotel.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:04 PM

okay so good news is i passed all my subjects cept for bio. rather happy. lessons were boring. school was alright. exams are next week and here i am trying to make a new skin or at least the picture. yes i'm actually doing that rather then studying. not really in the mood and this is not good. HAHA. i can't think of anything else to blog about. -.-

it doesn't take this long to let go. does it? i don't know why but everything is coming back to me. rahhh.

You don't even hold me like you used to hold me
And that's the way you could've made all the things you told me
Yeah, yeah
I remember when you told me you'd never lie to me
I can't believe I trusted you
I sacrificed my time and my heart
I gave you my all and what you do

You stepped on me, you walked on me
Boy you left your
Footprints on my
Heart broken crying over the way you left your
Footprints on my
Heart aching you ran all over me and left your
Footprints on my heart
My heart

I know the way you were before me
And I was crazy to think you'd change
I put up with your attitude
Your selfish ways and your childish games (whoa)
A good heart always ends up broken
But overtime, it'll make me strong
I'ma put the pieces back together
Might take some time, but I just go on

Love me or leave me
I don't mind
My heart can't take this pain
We had something so beautiful
But now it's not the same
So I gotta let this go
Gotta take back the truth
This situation makes no good for me
I can't believe I let it happen like this
I just sat back while you

Ooh, whoa, ooh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooh

boy, you left your footprints on my heart.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
7:19 PM

Monday, September 24, 2007

IM BORED. as usual. super happy human here. I PASSED MATHS. for the first bloody time this whole year. yes i know it means nothing to all the humans who passed maths but its a happy thing for meeeeee. okay so we got back our combine science marks too. im quite happy with the passes. not great passes but i mean its something since mid year lah. gonna study hard for EOY. yes yes yes. the motivation to go on. rahhh. sometimes i miss him. just suddenly will. hahas. zomg this is not suppose to happen. i don't want to miss you anymoreeeee. okay i seriously need to stop looking at things which makes me go nuts. how i wish i can brain wash myself. just a little. enough to make me stop thinking. anyway anyway. i've resulted to photos to make time pass. when im suppose to be studying =x I NEED SLEEP. i need school to not happen at all. rahhhh. i'm taking light years to post. -.- okay i'm gonna go catch channel u now.

the great escape.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
6:16 PM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

PHOTOSSSS X)) the very very veryyyyyy dark one was the one and only photo i took with cindy on friday and its at thel's pri sch. my dear sammy. and yes me, myself and i cam-whoring at home due to servere boredom. RAHHH. the world seem so dead now luh. THERE'S NOTHING INTERESTING ANYMORE! rahhh. oh well. SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MY BOREDOM. please? (:

[edited]

[/edited]
so long and goodbye.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
11:50 PM

i miss the fact that i can go out anywhere without the thought of exams. ahhhh. okay. yesterday was the english paper. alright lah i suppose. then slacked. went home changed and went studying with ethel and cindy. thel received a surprise call and we went back to her pri sch with her. MOONCAKE FESTIVAL. cindy was nuts for yellow lanterns. damn cute. saw him there. and some other humans. and then went home. pretty meaningless eh. but it was nice i guess. then now im going out to find sammy to study too. ITS ALL ABOUT STUDYING! exams exams exams. so irritating. and daddy's home lah. which makes going out ten thousand times more difficult. rahhhh. k so im gonna go get ready.

would you hold my hand if i see you again.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
12:43 PM

Thursday, September 20, 2007

hello lovelys. english paper is tmr. RAHHH. gonna go mug after that i think. anyway im making it a point to sleep at 10+ tonight. YES. im gonna do it. hahas. i feel damn happy. I PASSED POA. i didn't flunk it. WAHAHAHA. andand i passed geog. X) one last shot EOY and it'll be over. yesterday had phototaking after school. changed into the purple costume and sat there to wait lah. from what 330 then delay till 4+ and after the dance photo it was for student leaders. quite fun right. make us change on the spot. damn bloody hot luh. but it lasted awhile only. went back to danceroom. changed and went to downtown with humans. slacked abit and went home. went to downtown again today with mich, steph and sha. went home quite early cause of tuition. i can't wait for exams to end! and my dear cindy, TAKE CARE LUH! and xiao di, MOVE ALONG MOVE ALONG and FOLLOW YOUR HEART! exams please fly by. I WANT TO GO OUT AND HAVE FUN!

GOOD LUCK MY DEARS FOR EXAMS!
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
9:45 PM

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

BORING DAY I TELL YOU. rahhh. gerald was late. again. YES. HAHA. then mug and mug and mug for chem test. lessons were pretty boring. test was so so. praying that i pass luh. paid some attention to bio. and yadah yadah yadah. ethel and steph went for their oral. me, cin, mich, sha and a few other humans sat and talked. elisha went home first. super tired girl. LOL. mummy reminded me this morning that i had tuition. so i actually went home super early too luh. then in the end she called me and say that tuition is not today. -.- WTH. make me prepare everything. oh well. then there's photo taking tmr. my dear sammy, we'll make it through just fine alright? (: eoy are like just 2 days later lah for english paper. and i have no idea what to do. this is so irritating. im pms-ing alot today. must mugging. nehneh i've been saying this ten thousand times and i doubt i really started luh. 11th of octoberrrrr. quick come. let me get my exams over and done with!
it's gonna be a long long way to happy.

MUGMUGMUG
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
8:39 PM

Monday, September 17, 2007

k so now i'll have to mug for chem test. so gonna flunk poa. study study study. rahhh.

ok so everyone's pretty much affected by someone. someone that somehow even if you don't want to care but you just can't help seeing, knowing, comparing her with yourself and yadah yadah. this is so irritatingggggggggggggggggggggggg.

okay so now must go back to mugging mood. YES. go back to mugging mood. I NEED TO DO WELL FOR EOY.

acid bases and salts, relative molecular mass and the mole concepts are my companions tonight! and they will fit themselves nicely inside my brain yes? X) okay im being very nonsense. hahas. hillary is gonna mug. yes yes yes.

-hillary

Masquerade Love.
9:38 PM

Sunday, September 16, 2007

im bored! yes (: hahas. so i stole this from the friendster bulletin.

things which most girls like but half the time guys won't really do it.

1-touch her WAIST
2- TALK to her
3-share SECRETS
4-give HER your jacket
5-kiss her SLOWLY

ARE YOU REMEMBERING THIS?

6-HUG her
7-HOLD her
8-LAUGH with her
9-invite HER somewhere
10-let her be WITH you when you're with
your friends

KEEP READING

11-SMILE with her
12-take PICTURES with her
13-pull her onto your LAP
14-when she says she loves you more,
DENY IT. fight back
15-when her FRIENDS say i love her more
than you, deny it. fight back and hug
her tight so she can't get to her
friends. it makes her feel loved

ARE YOU THINKING OF SOMEONE?

16-always hug her and SAY "i love you"
when you see her
17-kiss her UNEXPECTEDLY
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE
WAIST! :D
19-tell her shes BEAUTIFUL!
20-TELL her the way you feel about her!

OH AND ONE LAST THING YOU NEED TO SHOW
HER YOU MEAN IT

21-Open doors for her, walk her to her
car- it makes her feel protected, plus
it never hurts to act like a GENTLEMAN
22-Tell her she means everything to
you,
but MEAN it
23-if it seems like there is something
wrong, ask her- if she denies something
being wrong, it means she doesn't want
to talk about it- so just HUG her
24-make her FEEL loved
25-kiss her in front of OTHER girls you
know!!!!

WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE
AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US

26-don't lie to HER.
27-DON'T cheat on her.
28-take her ANYWHERE she wants
29-txt messege or call her in the
morning and tell her have a good day at
work {or school}, and how much you
MISS her.
30-be there for her when ever she needs
you, & even when she doesn't need you,
just be there so she'll know that she
can ALWAYS count on you.

ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER
BE, IT'S IMPORTANT

31. Hold her close when she's cold so
she can hold YOU too.
32. When you are ALONE hold her close
and kiss her.
33. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will
give
her the hint that you want to kiss
her).
34. While in the movies, put your arm
around her and then she will
automatically put her head on your
shoulder, then lean in and tilt her
chin
up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
35. Dont EVER tell her to leave even
jokingly or act like you're mad. If
shes
upset, comfort her.

REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE
WITH HER NEXT

36. When people DISS her, stand up for
her.
37. Look deep into her EYES and tell
her
you love her.
38. Lay down under the STARS and put
her
head on your chest so she can listen to
the steady beat of your heart, Link
your
fingers together while you whisper to
her as she rests her eyes and listens
to
you.
39. When walking next to each other
grab
her HAND.
40. When you hug her HOLD her in your
arms as long as possible

MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED

41. Call or text her at night to wish
her SWEET DREAMS
42. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe
away her tears.
43. Take her for LONG walks at night.
44. ALWAYS Remind her how much you
love her.

you'll never know when she needs just a
lil more love.

LOL. so yah. im super bored now. i have poa and physics test tmr. total suckers lah. monday blues are coming. rahhhh. i need to study i need to study i need to study. someone screw that into my head please. i need motivations! this is so gonna give me a headache luh. oh well nothing really special happened today. saw daddy's collegue's son. DAMN CUTE. small toddler. big eyes and fair skin. super adorable luh. and last night went to laguna for dinner. they were having chiang mai festival and had thai people to come over to perform and cook so quite nice lah.

Some photos i snapped while dinner. the 3 ladies are playing a thing very much alike to guzhen

And being the camwhore-ish person i am. yes. im bored. and i bet you can see it too! HAHA

RAHH. okay so im done. (: finally. i don't want to go school tmr. oh well. GOODNIGHTS HUMANS. im gonna go study. soon. i guess. X)

with love.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
9:47 PM

Saturday, September 15, 2007

One night to you
Lasted six weeks for me
Just a bitter little pill now
Just to try to go to sleep
No more waking up to innocence
Say hello to hesitance
To everyone I meet
Thanks to you years ago
I guess I'll never know
What love means to me but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind
In a roll away bed
Everything was so damn simple
Now I'm losing my head
Trying to cover up the damage
And pad out all the bruises
Do you know I had it
So it didn't hurt to lose it
Didn't hurt to lose it
No but oh
I'll keep on rolling down this road
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name
I just want to thank you
Thank you
From the bottem of my heart
For all the sleepless nights
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

It's gonna take a long time to love
It's gonna take a lot to hold on
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah
Left in the pieces that you broke me into
Torn apart but now I've got to
Keep on rolling like a stone
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy .

it's gonna be a long long way to happy but i'm gonna pull it through. rahhh. yes yes yes. im leaving without you. and i don't want to think of you no more. i don't want to love you no more. you can walk through that door and never come back. it was never a regret. even if its a mistake, it's a beautiful and memorable mistake. i'm gonna go my own way. (:

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time
And you know it, don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know

It's not like I haven't tried
Over and over again
Stupid fights
Wrong or right
Goodbye...

I Remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta let you go

You're the one mistake
I really didn't mind
So beautiful, unmerciful
It took me down
Too little and too late
So now I know your kind
You fake it easy, just to please me
Don't you know

It's not like we haven't tried
Over and over again
Sleepless nights wrong or right
Goodbye...

I Remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta let you go
(slows down)

I gotta let u go...
It's you...
Theres nothing I can do

I remember when you came with me that night
You said forever [3x]

Here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta
Let U Go

I Remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside
No I don't wanna but I gotta let you go.

RAHHH. im gonna let you go once and for all. no point waiting. no point looking back. once bitten twice shy. i'm gonna go on with my life. i belong to me. i realised i don't need you as much as i thought i did.

too little too late.
i'm not turning back.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
5:20 PM

HELLO. X) so today had to be in school by 7am. YES its a saturday and im getting my butt in school by then. helped out during the sec 2 CIP. me and eli did the weighing station and it was really slackish. hahas. we sat there and did nothing. ms thang joined us. she is super cute lah. X) hahas. then it started to drizzle. but we still have to go to the open plaza there so we continued walking. and like what 2 minutes later rain stopped. saw the project superstar guy. the superhost(?) guy, vincent ng and le yao. and 2 very hot girls which i have no idea who they were. so here are some photos for today. hahas.

As you can see Ms thang being a very happy person there. HAHA. im super sleepy now. slept at like 2am and i woke up an hour late. RAHHH.
sleepyyyyyyy
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
5:06 PM

Teachers' Day Dance Performance (:
Credits to kimmy!

ENJOY!
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
4:30 PM

Friday, September 14, 2007

OLD FOLKS HOMEEEE. i miss the old folks there lah. THEY ARE THE CUTEST PEOPLE you'll ever meet. ultimate sweetness. they are super lovable. so we left class at 1155. changed and practiced in the dance room. it was pouring really heavy luh but by the time we reached the old folks home the rain stopped. we danced 3 items for them and sang two songs. Celebrated 3 old folks birthday. they seem really happy lah. cut cake for them and we were suppose to finish the rest. went back to sch round 3+ and cam whored in dance room. seriously camwhoring seems to be in our blood. no? yes? hahas. but i love my dancers (: went to downtown with my 3 darlings. talked. ate. and yadah yadah yadah. now im homeeee and chatting up with my pri school friends. HAHA. really cute people (:

PHOTOS! from old folks home and dance room (:

Sam and i. loves X)

andand after ten thousand years. i've gotten old of the thumbdrive with the dance video. and its finally in my comp X) so im gonna try uploading it. i'm sooooo bored. exams are like here luh. sian.

-hillary

Masquerade Love.
7:44 PM

Thursday, September 13, 2007

k. so today is a pretty much ordinary day cept for the fact that i woke up with terrible headache. WHICH LASTED TILL NOW. im still having it. its really horrible lah. spoiled my mood for the day. was suppose to have physics test today but cancelled cause teacher never come X) slept during the 1 hr + did part of my essay. so the day was pretty bad lah. can't remember much. had dance after that. and rushed home for tuition. so now im sitting here with a pounding headache and its driving me nuts. there are like so many bloody tests coming up soon. RAHHH. there's geog test tmr but its open book anyway. so good news i suppose.

move along move along. X)

-hillary

Masquerade Love.
9:26 PM

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

BOOOOO (: today was boring and tiring. PE was cancelled as ms seah didn't come and we camwhored in class again. slacked in class. POA test is postpone to next monday. chinese test is brought forward to tmr and there's physics test too luh! stress much. after school waited for cindy they all to end and went to downtown. mich ate and we sat there and talked bout everything. its been ten thousand years since we had such talks lah! ethel came and ate her dinner. and we sat there and continue talking. now im home. just now cindy called and gave me a shock lah! her house area was affected by the earthquake which hit indonesia. appearantly her door, light, floor, everything just shook badly lah. don't worry girl ITS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD! k so im gonna study for physics. (: rahhh. another day just passed. (:

The ultimate camwhores (: i love her.

This is just sooooo random HAHAHA!

PHYSICSSSSSS is being an ass. rahhh
with love.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
6:46 PM

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

hello humans. wasn't in the best of moods lately i suppose. RAHHH. oh well. i've got to move on and be who i am. yes? whatever. haha. so i found out something not very surprising but somehow its kills me inside yes. -.- oh well. so had free periods yesterday and today. camwhored in class yesterday with my loves. had dance after that. many loves (: today had free periods too. erm. had orientation after sch. went to pasir ris beach. damn retarded. saw gareth. LONG TIME NO SEE LAH! hahas. much misses lah. go out soon! hahas. walked around for super long. and we decided to stop at the pit there while the teacher brought the sec 2s? to continue their walk. the whole thing ended 615? and i was suppose to have tuition at what 630? lol. pushed it to 7. manage to rush home on time. hahas.

ok so now im really bored. and its not helping. anyway. thanks shasha for your quote:
'If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't they never were'

so true. so very very true. hahas. so i guess. if we're meant to be, no matter what, we'll find our way back into love eh. even if we're not meant to be, we'll still be friends eh. yes, im gonna miss you. yes, you're still my one and only. and yes i do reminisce bout you. but its ok. i'll get over it i suppose (: time heals all wounds. right? lol. you have your ways of love i guess. doubt you'll ever realise what hurts the most was being so close. you never meant to i guess. things happen for a reason. and i guess you have ten thousand reasons luh! i've got to do whats best for me. i just don't belong here. we might find a place in this world some day, well at least for now i got to go my own way.

anyway PHOTOS! from class gathering. i know ancient. hahas.

Camwhoring in class during free period X) RETARDS and AIRHEADS. lol.

though all good things come to end, better things comes after that right cindy? we'll make it through!
though you're gone. i know i'll have to move on. i'll learn to stand on my own two feet once more. and yes i'll be happy (: i'm glad we had what we once had. good luck finding someone better (:
with love.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:21 PM

Sunday, September 09, 2007

i always needed time on my own
i never thought i'd need you there when i cry
and the days feel like years when i'm alone
and the bed where you lie is made up on your side

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now

when you're gone
the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone
the face i came to know is missing too
when you're gone
the words i need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
i miss you

i've never felt this way before
everything that i do reminds me of you
and the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
and they smell just like you, i love the things that you do

when you walk away i count the steps that you take
do you see how much i need you right now

when you're gone
the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone
the face i came to know is missing too
when you're gone
the words i need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
i miss you

we were made for each other
out here forever
i know we were, yeah
all i ever wanted was for you to know
everything i'd do, i'd give my heart and soul
i can hardly breathe i need to feel you here with me, yeah

when you're gone
the pieces of my heart are missing you
when you're gone
the face i came to know is missing too
when you're gone
the words i need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
i miss you.

went out with parents just now and so did samy AND we were both at taka and the mooncake fair there. but we didn't see each other. idiot you should have just go ahead and called me lah. hahas. now im home. boreded. school's gonna start tmr. double bored. my dearest ethel talked to me. and well yes it sounded right. i will try. (: many loves girl.

what hurts the most
was being so close
and having so much to say
and watching you walk away
and never knowing
what could have been
and not seeing that loving you
is what i was tryin’ to do

Broken promises
But you don't really mind
It's not the first time and you know it
Don't you know
Tell me why it is you only smile inside
But when you break me into nothing
Don't you know
It's not like I haven't tried over and over again
Stupid fights, wrong or right

I remember when you came with me that night
We said forever, that you would never let me go
But here I am again
With nothing left inside

everytime i think of you, i miss you. it's hard not to think of you. everywhere i go, it reminds me of you. it'd been so long. all those happy moments. you were the first boyfriend to watch fireworks with. you were the first boyfriend i cook for. you were first boyfriend i celebrated and spend the birthday with. you were the first boyfriend i actually sit down to study with. you were the first boyfriend i sat by eastcoast just to see the sunset and stars. you were the one i spent many first with. you were the one i went through the past 4 months 17-18 days with. all the quarrels we had endured. it just took you those few minutes and moments to throw it all away. yes, it's treasured in your heart and mine but it's no longer the same. remember i ask you to keep the other half of the mickey ring. i hope there'd be a day where it can be a whole again. i feel like waiting i feel like letting go. no matter how many bastard things i think bout you, it doesn't make me hate you. even if it did the hatred didn't last. this may be silly and dumb but i still wish that you'd come back.

dreams, dreams
of when we had just started things
dreams of you and me
it seems, it seems
that i can't shake those memories
i wonder if you have the same dreams too.

the littlest things that take me there
i know it sounds lame but its so true
i know its not right, but it seems unfair
that the things are reminding me of you
sometimes i wish we could just pretend
even if for only one weekend
so come on, tell me
is this the end?

I know I've been mistaken
But just give me a break and see the changes that I've made
I've got some imperfections
But how can you collect them all and throw them in my face

I hope you're not intending
To be so condescending it's as much as i can take
and you're so independent
you just refuse to bend so I keep bending till I break

the song you use to sing to me. the song which you made as our song. yes i'm reminiscing like fuck.

I will never find another lover sweeter than you,
Sweeter than you
And I will never find another lover more precious than you
More precious than you
Girl you are close to me you're like my mother,
Close to me you're like my father,
Close to me you're like my sister,
Close to me you're like my brother
You are the only one my everything and for you this song I sing

And all my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

I said you're all that I'm thinking of.....baby

Said, I promise to never fall in love with a stranger,
You're all I'm thinking of, I praise the Lord above,
For sending me your love, I cherish every hug,
I really love you

And all my life, baby, baby, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you, baby
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way too
Yes, I pray that you do, love me

You're all that I ever known, when you smile, on my face, all Isee is a glow.
You turned my life around, you picked me up when I was down,
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all Isee is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down
You're all that I ever known, when you smile on your face all Isee is a glow,
You picked me up when I was down and I hope that you feel thesame way too,
Yes I pray that you do love me too

All my life, I've prayed for someone like you,
And I thank God that I, that I finally found you
All my life I've prayed for someone like you
Yes, I pray that you do love me too

hmm. this is one long post. and i actually started blogging hours ago. LOL. i promised you i wouldn't cry and i won't. you asked me to be happy. i tried and still trying. the promise we made on that day were plain lies. it was never the way you said it. i miss your smile. i miss the way you hold me and tell me that i'm the one. i miss everything about you. i really loved you then and i still love you now. even if its the dumbest thing to ever do, if there's ever a chance to be, i'll wait.

Flames to dust.
Lovers to friends.
Why do all good things come to an end?
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
5:41 PM

Saturday, September 08, 2007

I could sit in this house
In this room, in this bed
Just as long as I’m feeling this way
And boy since you’ve been away
I cant sleep, I’ve been awake
I just lay here trying to deal with this pain..

Four walls and no you (wow)
The silence in this room is so loud
No one else can fix it but you

I’m sitting here wishing I could change the past
Knowing deep inside I can’t get my baby back
I lost you, I lost you
Oh baby I just cant stand the way that I lost you

I’ve been trying
To put the pieces of a picture
Back together
But it just don't look the same

anyway. went out with cindy love today. town-ed. walked round. and took neoprints. been light years since we did that. many heart to heart talks. long bus journey from town and cam whoring. hahas. babe we're gonna get through this. we will. thanks all my lovelys for everything.
Here are some photos:
TOWN (:

Farewell night

Class gathering
The rest of the class gathering photos still with kim. i want photos! and the teachers' day dance video! i really really miss him like fuck. everywhere i go reminds me of him. i can't get use to not having you around lah. YES. i feel like an idiot now but still. baby come back to me, in my heart i still believe that we can be together. i want you backkkkk. zomg. i can't believe i typed all this. rahhh. fever is driving me nuts!
you're still the only one,
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
11:27 PM

It's funny how you think you really know yourself
Like you would never lose yourself to someone else
And I was up to thinking it was all about you and me
Silly silly me
I should have never listened to a word you said
But I was always giving in to promises
I never should have gone for
I should never long for you no matter how hard it gets
And I want this to be over
I so want this to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

If you had only told me how you really felt
I could have put my feelings into someone else
But I was busy thinkin' I was where I was supposed to be
Silly silly me
But there was something 'bout you that I couldn't resist
Can't put my finger on it but whatever it is
I never should have stood for it
I know you're no good for me
And that's the way it is

And I want it to be over
I so want it to be through
In the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

I tell myself
Get over you
It's over right
Right thing to do
And just when I thought I was done
You pull me in for another run
I can't take this
I won't take this
I can't do this
I Won't do it
Even if I know in the end somehow it always comes back to you

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

Cause everywhere I go
No matter what I do boy
I just can't get you out of my head
So it annoys me
(You wasn't man enough)
To come and tell me
(That I was never the one)
Like you said I was
(You could have told someone)
You knew you didn't love me anymore

yes, you knew you didn't love me anymore. this sucks. i think i having fever too. CINDYYYYY.

now you're gone.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:13 PM

Friday, September 07, 2007

[edit] so now he's gone. yes. we broke up. as promised im not gonna cry. those days are treasuered deeply in my heart. the past 4 months were happy moments. i'll get over you, soon enough i suppose. i still love you. rahhhh. zomg. can't believe it really happened. i wish you'll come back. now. it sucks knowing that you're not there lah. RAHHH. [/edit]

pool-ed with humans today. and many loves to ethel for coming out today. had fun pool-ing. hahas. went to meet him at PP and appearantly by the time i reach he still having tuition luh. waited. and then we walked abit. and talked. i love you.

[edit] ~~13 more days to 5th month~~. kukuhead is dota-ing away now. LOL. i still miss you. [/edited]

daddy's coming home tmr. great -.- whyyyyyyy. i don't want him back luh. so troublesome. RAHHH. oh well. no choice. and some blooody fucker's been prank calling my house. you should seriously just die.

my mind's blank
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:05 PM

Thursday, September 06, 2007

IM BLOODY TIRED. and i can't sleep -.- ok so lets go back to yesterday. farewell night. not THE event of the year and definately not the best plan. but everybody's effort made the night possible. it was super last minute. some teachers were definately of great help luh. -.- we ran around. brainstormed and yadah yadah yadah. it was a super tiring day luh. played pool after that. saw egg and other humans. (: MISSES.

had combine leadership training for the sec 3s today. appearantly was late. very late to meet ethel. and yes SHE WAS ANGRY! hahas. but after mentioning ben and jerrys she was all smiles. the training had a challenge for us which was to sell something, usable, profitable and promotes school values. budget of $14. not easy. SUPER TIRING. wanted to sell drinks, play games and sell soap. appearantly drinks was called off cause some residents decided to be extra and called up the school to complain -.- sold soap and tried out games which didn't work. we sort of depended solely on the soap. gerald. our dear president. sacrificing himself to dance and sing to earn moolah .

selling away all the soaps and with the help of gerald's sacrifice and some strawheart bookmarks we got a grand total of $167.85 (: all the lovely people who oh-so-kindly bought soaps from us were total loves. had our lunch and we were kind to donate moolah to the other group too. so not bad lah. quite fun actually but just very tiring. everyone did a good deed. HAH.

yeah FINALLY after 2 long weeks i'm gonna see love. much much misses.

lovelove.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
7:01 PM

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

HELLOOOOO (: class gathering rocked ass! hahas. had lunch with mummy yesterday and walked round bugis. went to topshop to get a tee so it goes with my sweater then met kimmy. waited for the rest to come at the mrt. it just amazes you what some humans wear. serious. walked to haji lane and yes the humans thought that they would get lost under the lead of 3 air-head-ish people. but we got them there on time (: mrs wan and elisha were sitting there waiting for our arrival. HAH. the food are all laid out nicely outside in a buffet manner and we ran up and squeezed on the sofa. it was comfy (: 300 started. nice show. sad. HOT GUY DIED. head got chopped off. and we screamed hahas. there was this small boy very cute yet very disturbing! hahas. then it was followed by john tucker must die. funny movie. some humans left before and during the movie. sad case but i was pretty sure all the girls stayed. LOL. by the time everything ended it was round 11+ and 3 guys went up to clean our mess =x oh well. we took some last minute photos and went off. stood by the road waiting for sha's dad. and an african man approached us and the conversation went like this:

man: hello hello, how was your fun? [ in a LOW pervertic voice]
*man grins and WHITE, pure white teeth showed.*

kim: errrrr hello...

elisha: *yawns* im so tired..

hillary whispered to farizah: helloooo we look nothing like hookers -.-

*stared at each other, RAN across the main road (:*

yes retarded. but it was creepy! the man looked SICK. very. feeling much safer on the other side. a spanish or italian tourist approached us and ask us where she could flag a cab. so being very kind souls. we went round flagging cabs for her. AND SINGAPORE CABS ARE DAMN ASS. they don't want to stop for god knows what reason. then we saw the man again. he crossed the road and came in our direction.

kim: eheh keep the lady here longer! don't flag cab first.

and it worked. the man went away. lucky sia. then the cute lady got on a cab we flagged. and elisha's dad came! he sent us back home. lol. what a night.

Had oral just now. woke up kimmy from sleep cause she was a lazy bum. breakfast at ya kun and off to oral. i slept like 30mins before it was my turn and i think i screwed it up quite badly. =x went to kim's house. did nonsense stuff then went back to sch for meeting. and yadah yadah yadah. now im home. and i have to squeeze my brain for farewell night -.- BIRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD. nehneh. leave me alone to think -.-

PHOTOS UP SOON (:

lovelove.
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
6:49 PM

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Photos from friday!
at fareast (:

i love this photo. HAH.

Elisha was trying to be funny.
The rest of the photos. random shots. and our many attempts on taking a photo without shaking the camera.
you're the best damn thing
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
10:20 PM

WHOOO. im back back back (: interconental was nice. love love love the bathroom (: hahas. yes. the super big mirror and shower. ahh its damn nice. yesterday went to bugis with mummy and ethel. mummy went to check in then i went to PS with ethel. ate pizzahut and gelare. LOL. fats. -.- AHHH. ethel rushed off for tuition and i went back to bugis to watch 881 with mummy. yes im slow and yes im watching it with my mum. MY MUM ENDED UP IN TEARS. while i was just sitting there feeling funny. first time watching movie with mummy. aww. hahas. it was a sad show lah. poor girl. oh well. then we went shopping! i got my shirts, tops, grey skinnies and clutch X) im happy! shopped till 10 then went to victoria bar to get a drink with mummy. the place was damn nice luh. went back to the room and i watched tv till 2+ amazed by miami ink and the reasons why people want to get tattoos. quite touching actually. catch repeats on travel and living! its worth watching.

next morning had breakfast. saw two hot ang moh guys. HAHA. oh well. talking bout that I MISS MY DEAREST ALOT! my dear boy its been ages since i last saw you lah! after breakfast cabbed to suntec with mummy and we did more walked and shopping. suntec was crowded with people cause of some IT thingy. super lame lah. then nothing nice to buy. TOPSHOP is gone. maybe long ago it'd already been remove but i just realised it -.- there's a new fountain inside the mall quite nice. and went back to bugis to walk even more and now im home (: super tired luh. watched this show on channel U this morning super nice. some taiwan drama show. I FORGOT THE NAME. damn. but it was damn funny. even mummy decided to sit down and watch with me.

im super excited bout tmr's class gathering. lets hope everything turns out fine. (: and now im waiting for my dear kimmy to send me the video and photos! KIMMMM!

and here are the photos from yesterday!

Being a very camwhor-ish person. X) hah. AND being retarded i tried smiling without my teeth.
The hotel room (: and Victoria bar. The stuff on my bed were some of the stuff i bought at Bugis Street.

More photos to come (: KIMMY. quick. internet connections are seriously the speed of light -.-
you're the best mixtape that i had,
-hillary

Masquerade Love.
9:19 PM